Before I left I spent two hours photoshopping some newer negatives and older prints I had of him. Then I printed out 8 copies of the result, matting & mounting & framing one to be viewed at his memorial service.

He died suddenly of a massive heart attack. He left a beautiful wife as well as children and grandchildren. He left behind a lot of memories. He left this existance with the request that his body organs be donated to help others (which was done) and that his remains be cremated & later scattered at a favorite remote desert area. (which will be done)

He didn't leave behind many photos as he was not too hot on being photographed.

After getting the call & checking with my spouse on how and when I would meet her there I got out some negatives and prints of OP. I scanned & put them together in Photoshop to make the image that accompanies this article. It was easy even given my preference for hand printed silver based prints. I just didn't have time to do the work in the darkroom before leaving so digital was used and it worked fine.

It seems OP didn't get photographed too often & when he did his discomfort showed. In the past ten years he was seldom photographed by anyone other than myself, including when he received his Hiram Award from the local Masonic Lodge. This is the highest award given by the group & I photographed it. He didn't know we would be there nor that any photos would be taken, both were a surprise. He was not comfortable in front of a camera. Probably because he associated pictures with dressing up and sitting uncomfortably in a studio waiting for a camera operator to coax a smile before tripping the shutter. An experience shared by many with photos of self conscious and uncomfortable subjects which show how they feel about getting their picture taken. A universal experience if family photos in many places are looked at.

I photographe OP as I do most people. I pull out the camera and shoot away as they get used to it. I have many good images of him this way along with way too many of him showing his self conscious posing.

It is the unposed ones that I like. After looking at the photos on their walls it is apparent they are the ones both he and his wife enjoyed as well. Every photo on the walls was one of mine. Unposed and often taken in an unguarded moment. Even a few of him smiling, something few have caught on film even though this is the memory of him that so many said was his typical manner. Always helping and smiling as doing so. That was him and I got it on film.

And, as I looked at the photos I took and those from his family history from childhood to the Marines to older life, few were of a person doing much more than standing in front of a camera while someone tripped the shutter.

His life included Guadalcanal in WWII and a full tour with Carlson's Rangers as a Marine. He was decorated and spent time in the Island hopping expeditions as the military ground its way slowly towards Japan, usually in combat both before the main troops arrived as well as during the beach assaults. He left the Corps not too long after he was the Marine Captain who hand carried the order from Harry Truman to drop the Atomic Bomb. This act bothered him the rest of his life. Though it helped end the war the lives taken troubled him and were part of the reason he went back to civilian life.

Photos were few the rest of his life. The occasional snapshot with friends and family and a few studio portraits. All showing the self conscious man who didn't enjoy having the 'third eye' trying to capture his soul. So, we know what he looked like but not who he was.

Surrounding my favorite image of him are some of these other photos. All records of the man at various stages of his life. They area record photos and little more. They show time and place and not much else. They are what we so often see when looking through family albums. People looking at the camera while a fleeting second of existence is laid down on film.

For many, that is the record of their life.

It is how they will be remembered by most who didn't know them well and few of us are really known well by many of our friends or family. We are there & only remembered as we touch their concerns. For so many our existence is embodied in the photo, a record impossible until the invention of photography.

Painting and drawing is not the same. A death mask tells little. Sculpture is so seldom done as to be an oddity. The photograph enables others to see what we saw even if it is strictly a record and tells little more than what was in front of the camera.

I like to think my image of OP does a bit more. I think it does. The layout works OK but the central image tells me more of him than the surrounding photos. I think arranging his life this way helps round out the story. Record photos along with an interpretation that helped those at the memorial service see who we were talking about. Photos to put a face with the memories and help clarify the man. Photos that help tell a story even as it is an abbreviated and incomplete one. As for record photos I have a drawer full of them as I worked to get some images that told about the man. Working through the bad images as I tried to get some good ones.

This is how I see much of my work and, through talking with friends who are very good photographers, seems to be how a lot of us work. We take many images that say little while working towards those that speak to the soul. We record a likeness on silver and print on paper. To breathe life to this creation we have to capture the soul of our subject. Karsh is noted for this in formal portraits. Others can do it from jazz clubs to news work. Too many never find the answers & spend years taking pictures that are no more than a record of what was in front of the camera.

I think portraits deserve more and work to get it even if I don't succeed nearly as often as I would like.

OP was an image I am happy with. Just as another friend years ago this is the main image that will be associated with him by all who attended the service & those who will see it in years to come. The other friend was remembered at his service by a shot taken at a community picnic. He was a politician with portraits, news photos and official photos galore. Yet the family called me to print one of him taken at a picnic a year before he passed away. An unguarded moment of joy with him smiling unconsciously, holding a beer & just enjoying life. This was his favorite image from 70+ years of life. The one shot he felt had captured him as he saw himself. His family agreed and showed the print at the funeral. It seems those who attended agreed as well and the courthouse in the county took down his official portrait after it was over and put up this image in its place.

I don't know if funeral photos are a good business or even a big one. I just like the image & showing it was appropriate. If I had not gone to the trouble to organize and print this before I left there most likely would not have been a photo. Or, if one at all it would have been one taken from his award ceremony as the service was held in his Masonic Lodge. If you look you can see one of the images in the arrangement of him, uncomfortable in suit & under the scrutiny of all in getting an award. We see too many of these as it is.

We also see too many pictures fading off the paper even as we view them. Quality in vision has to be matched by quality in processing, printing, display and viewing conditions. Yes, we can see photos under any conditions. But just as I printed, matted & framed the photos here to direct the viewers as I wanted, you need... no HAVE TO do so if your vision is to be seen as you want. Pictures handed out as business cards lose a lot. Presented as something of value they will be looked at more closely and perceived to have worth. Quality vision deserves quality at every stage as you progress to the image others will see.

So, comes the question of What is a Photo Worth?

What photo would you choose to sum up your lifes experience as people gather to remember you? What photographic image will you have helping people to remember the good times or the good you did? Or, will it even be a photo of you? If it sums up your life & helps others to know who you were... was it worth hiring that great portrait photographer? Was it worth having an intrusive son in law poking his camera at you at family events for 10 years? Was it worth having the niece who is taking a photo class try to fill an assignment? Only time will tell and once you or they are gone, photos are often the only lasting tangible result

It is said a picture is worth a thousand words. Not every one is and we know it. We know it as photographers and we know it as viewers. Getting the photos that show more than the requisite thousand words is not easy. Doing so with subjects nervous around cameras is not easy. Doing so and getting an image that speaks to those who see it is only one part of the process. Getting images that tell of the subject and satisfy us as photographers as well is more difficult. When we get those few images our pictures are priceless.

Technical information of the image

Taken with either a Nikon F3 or Canon EOS 3 or A2, B&W TMax 100, available light. Lens probably a 105 or a 28-135 zoom.

Image for the funeral display put together using Adobe Photoshop, printed on an Epson 1280 printer.